My Change of Mind

I remember being in my twenties. The world seemed wild, scary, intimidating and chaotic. It was also exciting, invigorating, and surprising. But from a very young age I had decided that I wouldn’t have children, and only because I didn’t want to bring them into this world. In spite of the excitement, in spite of the surprises, I viewed our planet as a scary place and I knew I would worry for them and their survival.

I would look at mothers and their babies, and think “how could you bring a child into this world?”

Then one day I was talking to my good friend Steve. I told him of my philosophy.

“This world is just too scary, and so many bad things happen. It’s out of control. I just don’t see how anyone could bring a child into this world!”

He looked at me, without so much as batting an eye, and said, “what if it was your child that made the difference?”

Two years later I had my first child and then two years after that I had my second child.

If you see the world as a scary place, it IS a scary place. My friend’s gentle words unlocked something in my psyche; the part of me that wanted to believe that we could, at anytime, make a difference in this world, and see it as a friendly place.

That was over 15 years ago. And now I look at my children and am filled with hope and wonder.

The world is surprising, invigorating and exciting. And everyday my children remind me of that.